Friday, 20 November 2015

Christmas Time, Glitter, Prosecco & Going Out Of Your Mind!

Have you got a love hate relationship with Christmas? I do. Time to weigh up the pros & cons to decide once & for all if I’m a bah-humbug or Santa’s not so little helper.


Pros 


Bling Your Face off! 

Glitter, sequins, confetti, OMG finally an excuse to put on the razzle dazzle. At this time of year it’s totally acceptable to look like a 13 -year-old whose had a £20 shopping spree in Claire’s Accessories. Life is just better when you literally S.P.A.R.K.L.E.


Fizz! Preferably Prosecco

From the pop of the cork to that first refreshing bubbly sip. Yay let's celebrate. Cheers to catching-up with friends and family, days off work, getting presents bought and wrapped. A champagne glass in the hand and life is grand.

Santa-Paws

What’s cuter than your little fur-ball cat or dog dressed-up as Santa, a Christmas tree or an xmas pudding? Especially when they give you that I'm not impressed look. That is instagram bate right there.

Hometown Returns

Making your way back to the place you grew up in and running into what’s-her-face that you went to school with. That guy you had crush on as a kid is now fat and bald, the college hottie is a frazzled mum of four, while the nerd has blossomed into a total babe with a kick-ass career, you should have befriended her.

Cons 


Buying Presents

You're not a loser * cough * ahem, sorry, organised person who has been spreading the cost, buying thoughtful gifts since June. Nope halfway through November it dawns on you there's 14 plus friends and family members who will be expecting something halfway decent that shows you really get them as a person. The problem is you're skint, Boots 3 for 2 seems the best option and you were lured into gifting the third No.7 beauty box to yourself. Uncle David will love socks and a giant Toblerone, sure he will.

Dat Fat Ass! 

Mince pies with cream, pigs in blankets, cheese souffles, turkey dinners, trifles and the tin of quality streets you keep dipping into means your arse expands at a cataclysmic rate. Moderation is out the window, It’s Christmas, go on indulge, treat your self. Then the second it hits the New Year you revert to a gym rat, juice cleansing, miserable cow.

Shop RAGE

Long queues, packed changing rooms and messy rails in the local H&M. You can't find the size you want, that game your brother must-have has sold out and it seems the price of everything has gone up by 10%. The shopping buzz has died all the while Joy To The World is blasting from the shopping centre speakers.


Christmas Dinners

Cringe central. After a few drinks that harmless office flirt turns into a sleazebag. You can’t let loose because your boss is in the room. The brussel sprouts make you flatulent. If you drop-one on the dance floor it will be remembered FOREVER.
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Conclusion: I'm a glitter wearing, grumpy cat loving, bah humbug. It’s not ho ho ho it’s no no no. Soz.


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